Posted tagged ‘waiting’

The In-Between and the Afterward

December 15, 2014

When my youngest brothers graduate from high school in two and a half years, they aren’t getting a graduation party.  They weren’t keen on the idea anyway, not being social butterflies or party people, but we had a better idea.  Instead, my mother is having a retirement party.

Someone recently asked her what she will do when she’s no longer overseeing their education.  The suggestion was that she might quickly become involved in homeschooling again – her grandchildren.  I was also part of the conversation, and I quickly assured the inquirers that I am planning to homeschool my own children, thank you.  That’s my responsibility and privilege; one which I have no intention of giving up.

This period between being homeschooled and the time when I can begin being the homeschool mom myself is an interesting in-between.  My mother has switched from educator to mentor for me, with the transition lines being very blurry on occasion but nevertheless present.  I am looking forward to homeschooling my children, even though I’m also a bit intimidated because I had such a great mom myself.  I keep thinking that I’ll never be as good as she was/is.  The point, however, is not that I’m as good as she is, but that I do the best I can, and I am trying to keep that in mind.

While my mom won’t be homeschooling my children, I do hope that she and my father can be involved to some extent.  I know of other families in which the children have benefited from taking a subject or two from a grandparent with expertise.  I want my children to know both sets of grandparents well, to respect who they are, and to love spending time with them.  That’s easier to do with my own parents right now, as we live in the same town versus my in-laws, who live 3 hours away.  I intend to give both sets of grandparents their chance to love my children despite any difficulties with time and proximity.

By now, you’re probably wondering if I’m ever going to go back and answer the initial question about my mother.  What is she going to do after she retires from active homeschooling.  I may have given away part of my answer just now.  She may retire from active homeschooling, but I believe she will remain a willing resource for new homeschooling moms like I hope to be in the not too distant future.  She has a library of materials I hope to borrow when my children become ready for them, and I know she will lend them to others as she feels led in the meantime.  She also has many insights into homeschooling approaches and techniques which I hope to discuss as I am making decisions someday.

Yes, we’ve suggested that she write a book about homeschooling.  She says all the books she would write have basically already been written, so that is probably unlikely.  Not impossible, however!  We joke that she may finally have time to finish all those sewing projects that she has had in the plans but never had the time to make.  We’ll see whether she finds enough other things to keep her busy.  Other things like caring for my grandparents, teaching one of our church’s ladies’ Bible studies, and helping my youngest siblings with their projects, studies, and other endeavors.

There is indeed a life after homeschooling, just as there is one in-between.  Both have a great opportunity for serving and blessing others.  We’re both enjoying the stages of life we find ourselves in right now, and looking forward to the next.  In the Lord’s perfect time, we will find out His will for the next stages of our lives, and I know because He planned them, that they will be amazing!

Just a short year ago…

November 20, 2013

I was single and didn’t want to be.  Yep.  I was getting to the end of my tether, and it felt like God had prepared me enough that I was ready.  So where was Prince Charming?  Was I doing something wrong?

It didn’t help that I knew a guy who could fit the bill.  Quiet, responsible, 5 years out of college and working, funny, and my best friend.  But nothing more than a friend.  And no sign that he wanted to be.

At this time last year, I was in a holding pattern.  Waiting to God to move.  Waiting to see what He was going to do.  Trying not to let my impatience ruin my friendship.  Waiting.

Most of you know, waiting is not a fun game most of the time.  As a human, I like to know what’s going to happen in the future.  Whether that future is tomorrow, next week, or next year.  But I had to learn to let go of that and let God work out the details.  If He wanted me to go another year, did I really want to rush in anyway?  If I’d learned anything about the Lord in my twenty odd years, it was that He has good reasons when He asks us to wait for something.

And sure enough, waiting paid off big.

This time last year, I couldn’t know that within a month, my best friend would ask me to embark on an intentional relationship exploring whether marriage was God’s plan for us.  Within four months, we would be engaged. And a year later as I write this now, we’re four months married, in a cozy little home, and very happy that God chose each of us for the other.

When God makes changes, sometimes we have to wait while He sets up the stage first, and then hang on to the handrails, because the whirlwind is coming!  With 19 weeks from engagement to the wedding, our planning was nonstop, or felt like it.  Once Sir K asked me the initial question last December, things didn’t really slow down until…well, a couple of weeks ago when I quit working.  More on that in a later post.

But we needed the waiting at the beginning.  Little did I know that Sir K had been asking God when he could propose to me for a year before he actually got to do so.  When I found out that he had faithfully waited until God gave him the green light, it meant so much more to me that he had waited for God’s timing than if he had merely asked God if it was me and then forged ahead.  And God did several things with both of us that year which never would have happened if Sir K had been courting me.

So, for all you waiters out there, whether you’re 18, 28, or 48, whether you’re waiting for a husband, a child, a job, or something else entirely, whether you see a possibility on the horizon or not, know that God is faithful to bring you the desires He has placed in your heart In His Time.  That song is still one of my favorites, and I made sure it was in my prelude music because it has become so special to me over the course of my waiting.

He does indeed make all things beautiful in His time, even me.

In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His time,
Lord please show me every day, as You’re teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time,
Lord my life to you I bring, may each song I have to sing,
Be to you a lovely thing, in Your time.

In His Time

July 19, 2011

In His Time

In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His Time, 
Lord, please show me everyday,
as you’re teaching me your way,
that you do just what you say,
in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time,
Lord, my life to you I bring,
may each song I have to sing,
be to you a lovely thing
in Your time.

This is the prayer of my heart right now as I step forward in faith.  I’m daily learning how much more I can trust Him to take care of in His own perfect time.  If it were up to me, I’d probably have run ahead much to fast, but He knows exactly what I’m ready to tackle, so He’s pacing me just right to finish the race where He wants me to be.

God my inheritance, by Rachel Starr Thomson

June 27, 2011

I am twenty-eight, and I am single. I don’t know whether I always will be, but I am sure single now. Several of my friends, both men and women, are in the same boat. And some of us will never marry.  Read More.

Along the same lines as some of my recent posts, Rachel Starr Thomson deals with singleness, Levites, and a Godly inheritance.  I was glad to read the thought of someone who is several years farther along the single path than I, as it gives me a better perspective on my own situation now.

Toward a New Frontier

June 26, 2011

So, I promised a post summarizing my thoughts on graduating.  Neither of my graduations involved a major change for me, so in some sense I am not going to be able to speak to the larger experience of most graduates.  At the same time, I have also faced changes to my lifestyle that would be comparable to much of what is encountered in a move to a college campus.  Still, my thoughts at this time do not focus on what is changing, but what has been and will be the same.

My graduation from college has not really changed anything so far as my immediate circumstances are concerned.  I’m still living at home with no intentions of deserting the parental domain any time soon (it’ll take some prince charming to carry me off from this happy home, let me tell you!).  I already had a part-time job as of this past January, so I haven’t even been in a huge hurry to find a full-time one (which reminds me, my resume still needs work . . .).  So my life is much the same as it has been for the last four years.  The biggest difference that I have noticed is that I am not planning ahead for the next semester’s courses.

Am I feeling any different?  I have two answers to this question.  The first is, different from what?  If you mean different from what I felt before graduating from college, then my second answer is yes and no.  No because although the ceremony helped give me the sense of completion, I don’t have my actual diploma in hand yet.  No because I am still the same girl I have always been.  No because this summer has been progressing very much like any of the last few, with plenty of things to do, relatives to entertain, and fun to be had with family and friends.  Yes because I now have a sense (not urgent yet but growing) that I need to find a full-time job soon.  Yes because I do not have the familiar routine of studies to look forward to.

If the question means different from when I graduated from highschool, then the answer is a definite yes.  While I have not noticed any major changes in myself, I do know that I have gained a lot of assurance over four years of online schooling.  People sometimes worry about my socialization when they find out I was homeschooled and then did college online, but I laugh to myself because it was through online discussions that I gained the confidence to step outside of my normal shy, wallflower pose and approach people in various social contexts.  Most people now would hardly credit me with being shy, although I still have some tendencies to avoid new contacts and choose to talk to people with whom I am already comfortable.  I am now almost as likely to go over and start a conversation with someone I don’t know, and I’m less uncomfortable in situations where I know no one, although I may tend to avoid those situations sometimes.

Of course, I have to be different from the highschool graduate who wasn’t paying enough attention to avoid getting a sunburn — no such trouble this time around since the graduation was all indoors in the Saratoga Springs City Center.  I have been walking with Jesus for four more years now that I had not when I graduated last time.  When you walk with Jesus, He changes you, even when you aren’t noticing it.  My father has written a song based on several scriptures, and the refrain of it comes from I John 3:2, “For when we see him, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”  Equally true, I think, is that the more we see of him (in scripture), the more we become transformed into his image.

So, why am I not feeling more of a difference as I face a new frontier?  Perhaps because I have not had time yet to notice that difference.  Perhaps because I am so confident in my guide and comforter that I am not daunted by the thought of entering a new stage in my life as I was (a little) four years ago.  And perhaps because this new frontier is not so new.

For the real frontier I am facing is one of walking with Jesus.  I have been walking with Jesus through college, and now I will be walking with Jesus while he prepares me.  Yes, I meant to leave that sentence where I did.  I realize that there is a stage between college and marriage.  Some people seem very intent on making that transition as quickly as possible.  Others at least need the comfort of having a boy/girlfriend to make that transition look nearer.  I recognize that God has things to teach me in this waiting time.  And my intent is to walk with him throughout this new stage (for stage it is, just as surely as college and marriage are stages) as well as throughout my life.

So in a sense I am not actually facing a new frontier.  I am merely closer to the frontier which I have been striving toward all the time.  My walk has had many twists and turns, but not remarkably many.  My walk has had plenty of stops along the way, and has involved plenty of friends to walk beside me.  So have many other people’s.  The most remarkable thing about my life has been its goal, and even that is a common one with all my Christian brothers and sisters.  It is only remarkable in that God is remarkable, for I am always looking toward the finish line when I shall stand in glory and see God face to face.  Strangely enough, I am excited about being in the presence of Elohim, God Almighty, YHWH.  For he is my father, and, weak and sinful child that I am, I still desire above all else to be near my Father, who loves me in spite of all.

May you also catch a glimpse of this calling, the calling of your heavenly Father to you, his child: “Come.”  We cannot fathom what may await us in heaven, for it is truly a new frontier of which none of us now has the capacity to comprehend the whole, but we can rest assured that it will be good, or rather, that it will be God.  To all those who are graduating or who are facing other new stages of their lives, let me encourage you to keep your focus on Christ, where it belongs, and let the path go where it will.  For everything becomes clearer when you look to Jesus to write your story.

“Ishi” (via Echoes In The Wind)

June 1, 2011

For those struggling with the wait for married blessedness, here’s Laura’s latest encouragement. The post is written by a young woman primarily for young women, but you guys may get something out of it, or out of the (long) comment I left her at the end.

“Ishi”

How I struggle with the idea of singleness! It only takes a happy newlywed couple to bring me to tears, asking God “Will I ever have a love story?” “Is it for me to be married?” “Am I supposed to be single?” No “real” answer. Just that little voice I love and sometimes hate at the same time: stop asking.   It doesn’t help … Read More

via Echoes In The Wind


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