Posted tagged ‘godly womanhood’

Are You a Woman Worth Waiting For?

April 16, 2011

While we wait for one of those Few Good Men, we young women can be preparing ourselves such that our good man will not be disappointed when God tells him we’re the one.  If we want a Christ-centered man for a husband, we’ll be much more attractive to him (as well as more willing to wait) if we are Christ-centered ourselves.  Now, I can hear you saying to yourselves, sure, that sounds wonderful/makes sense/is great, but what does it look like?

Good question!  I’ll try to answer it, but I’ll warn you that I am still working through this myself, and am therefore not able to give you advice from the sage perspective of someone who has moved beyond to a new stage of life and is able to reflect on their mistakes and successes.  Actually, the best people to ask for advice are probably those who have children who are in their late twenties and thirties!

The first aspect of Christ-centered singlehood I’ll mention is Focus. In I Corinthians 7, Paul encourages singles to stay single because those that are unmarried are able to focus on the things of the Lord and pleasing Him, while married men and women care about how to please their spouses (which is also God honoring, by the way, but in a different way).  I wonder if what Paul was getting at was less that Christians should be celibate, and more that they should not rush into marriage.  In that culture, women had virtually no other prospects than getting married, so they and their parents tended to push for marriage as soon as possible.

Today, we face a different trend.  People are getting married later.  On the other hand, they’re not waiting for marriage patiently.  I can’t believe the ages at which girls start having boyfriends.  Since I believe that people shouldn’t enter a courtship or dating relationship until they are prepared and ready for marriage, seeing 13-year-olds walking around holding hands is ridiculous as well as saddening.  There are plenty of resources out there which talk about the reasons why teenagers are not ready to choose a spouse, and I won’t repeat them all here.  Suffice it to say that I fly in the face of the trends, being twenty-two and never having had a boyfriend or gone on a date!

Because I do not have the distraction of a boyfriend, I am able to give much more attention to my schooling, work, and volunteering.  Because I am not constantly going out or having a boyfriend over, I am able to spend quality time with my family.  Because I do not have a boyfriend monopolizing my attention, I am able to be friends with a variety of people, young, old, guys, girls, married, and single, and spend time getting to know them.  Christ is able to use me in all these arenas to further the kingdom, and because I am focused on Him, He can use me more fully than if half my brain was thinking about a boyfriend.

And honestly, I’m betting most Godly young men will find this appealing.  Might they wish it was easier to get you to pay attention to them?  Perhaps, but only till they realize that your ability to focus is a good recommendation for a faithful wife.  Also, many of them will probably feel more comfortable being friends if they know that you aren’t sitting there wondering how long it will take them to ask you out!

Secondly, Christ-centered singlehood is a time for Preparation.  I mentioned earlier that girls and guys should be prepared for actual marriage before they tackle anything more than friendship.  For us girls, that means being ready to run a household.  Can you cook?  I mean more than pulling packaged meals out of the freezer.  Having at least a week’s worth of meals that you can cook without help on short notice would go a long way toward making those first few months of marriage smooth!  How about cleaning?  Do you know how to do a complete spring cleaning?  Are you prepared to manage your money?  This one may not become necessary because in some families the husband takes responsibility for budgeting, but I think it’s a good idea for us girls to know how.  Other skills like sewing, mending, and baby-tending are also good to have (although they might be considered extras in some families), and I’m sure there are more things some parents would recommend that young women know before marriage.   I encourage all young women to go to their parents and ask them what things they should be learning in order to be prepared for marriage.

A woman who is focused on Christ and preparing herself to be a good wife will exhibit many other characteristics, but these two things are a good start.  What other things do you consider characteristic of a Woman Worth Waiting For?

Guys’ and girls’ input welcome!

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