Archive for the ‘Friends’ category

Just a short year ago…

November 20, 2013

I was single and didn’t want to be.  Yep.  I was getting to the end of my tether, and it felt like God had prepared me enough that I was ready.  So where was Prince Charming?  Was I doing something wrong?

It didn’t help that I knew a guy who could fit the bill.  Quiet, responsible, 5 years out of college and working, funny, and my best friend.  But nothing more than a friend.  And no sign that he wanted to be.

At this time last year, I was in a holding pattern.  Waiting to God to move.  Waiting to see what He was going to do.  Trying not to let my impatience ruin my friendship.  Waiting.

Most of you know, waiting is not a fun game most of the time.  As a human, I like to know what’s going to happen in the future.  Whether that future is tomorrow, next week, or next year.  But I had to learn to let go of that and let God work out the details.  If He wanted me to go another year, did I really want to rush in anyway?  If I’d learned anything about the Lord in my twenty odd years, it was that He has good reasons when He asks us to wait for something.

And sure enough, waiting paid off big.

This time last year, I couldn’t know that within a month, my best friend would ask me to embark on an intentional relationship exploring whether marriage was God’s plan for us.  Within four months, we would be engaged. And a year later as I write this now, we’re four months married, in a cozy little home, and very happy that God chose each of us for the other.

When God makes changes, sometimes we have to wait while He sets up the stage first, and then hang on to the handrails, because the whirlwind is coming!  With 19 weeks from engagement to the wedding, our planning was nonstop, or felt like it.  Once Sir K asked me the initial question last December, things didn’t really slow down until…well, a couple of weeks ago when I quit working.  More on that in a later post.

But we needed the waiting at the beginning.  Little did I know that Sir K had been asking God when he could propose to me for a year before he actually got to do so.  When I found out that he had faithfully waited until God gave him the green light, it meant so much more to me that he had waited for God’s timing than if he had merely asked God if it was me and then forged ahead.  And God did several things with both of us that year which never would have happened if Sir K had been courting me.

So, for all you waiters out there, whether you’re 18, 28, or 48, whether you’re waiting for a husband, a child, a job, or something else entirely, whether you see a possibility on the horizon or not, know that God is faithful to bring you the desires He has placed in your heart In His Time.  That song is still one of my favorites, and I made sure it was in my prelude music because it has become so special to me over the course of my waiting.

He does indeed make all things beautiful in His time, even me.

In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His time,
Lord please show me every day, as You’re teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time,
Lord my life to you I bring, may each song I have to sing,
Be to you a lovely thing, in Your time.

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I Like Him. Now What?

July 20, 2013

“So… I like someone.”

The email in my inbox encapsulated the glorious confusion of first feelings.

Waiting for him to talk to you at church.

Hoping he glances your way.

Wishing you could find an excuse to say something.

Read the rest  of Phylicia’s post – I Like Him. Now What?.

From another Quill – Why Don’t I Have a Boyfriend?

May 7, 2013

I couldn’t wait for the day that guy would walk out of my favorite country song and into my life.

Then came disappointment. Shattered expectations. Uncertainty. Frustration. Bitterness. And ultimately, a calloused heart.

By the time I was 21, it was, Forget this! ‘Love’ is too full of failure for me to waste time waiting anymore. I’m a good girl, I deserve a good man. What is the problem here?

Read the rest of Phylicia’s post here: Why Don’t I Have a Boyfriend?.

Forever and Ever, Amen.

March 6, 2013

Okay, okay, so you’re all getting impatient with my lack of posting by now.  All of you, that is, except those readers who have been through this time themselves (and isn’t it the time of your life!) and know how little time a Best Friend leaves for anything else.  I thought I was going to call this post “This is why I never wanted a boyfriend,” and I may yet write that post, but I decided that tonight I want to share a video.  Sister sent me the link many months ago, perhaps over a year ago, and we have both enjoyed it very much.  Now, it has special significance for me…so enjoy.

Sir K and I will be embarking on our “forever and ever” this summer, so be prepared to wait a little longer between posts for a few months while we get a wedding planned!

I’m Ready, Why Aren’t You, God?

February 8, 2013

Have you ever felt like you were ready to begin the next phase of your life, but that God hadn’t opened the door yet?

Perhaps you’ve been trying to get into colleges, but you didn’t get accepted into any of the ones you wanted.  Maybe you’re job hunting, but nothing is turning up.  Maybe you’re waiting for Prince Charming, but he’s not being very obliging about ringing your doorbell.  Some of my readers might even be trying for a child, but having no success.  Maybe it’s something completely different.

Have you felt like telling God that you were ready and that you wished He’d hurry up and open the door?

Sometimes we’re not as ready as we think we are.

For the past 5-8 years, I have felt like God has had to push me out of my comfort zone to move me forward.  Usually He used my mother to jump start something new, because I really didn’t like change.  Which meant that my mother had to encourage me to go ahead and volunteer different places, to go on and really hunt for a job, to start singing with the church worship team.  Each time, I’ve been a little apprehensive about the new activity, but each time, I have also very much enjoyed the time I have spent doing it.

About six months ago or so, I told my mother that I finally felt “ready” to move on to the next phase of my life.  This was a new feeling for me, and I recognized that I probably wasn’t really ready, even though I felt like it.  We allowed that my success with my job, which I had been very nervous about in the beginning, was helping me to feel that I was ready for a new challenge in another realm – relationships.

So, I was ready.  Or was I?

Another three months went by.  Nothing much had changed.  I should mention here that I have a very good friend that I met about the time that 3G went off to college.  Sir K had helped to fill the void left by 3G not being around all the time.  Over the three years I’d known him, Sir K had become very close.  So when I felt like I was “ready,” although I tried not to assume anything, I did have a pretty good idea who God might have in mind.

So three months ago, I was praying about things, and I began asking “when?”  It was becoming increasingly difficult to be just friends with Sir K.  I had refrained from asking God if this was “the one,” but the cry of my heart was for a deeper relationship, and I felt like I needed to know something now.  Well, apparently God agreed with me, because that night He gave me an answer.  Only one word, but it brought such peace that I knew it was from Him.

“Soon.”

No, it didn’t give me any idea when exactly things would change.  No, I still couldn’t have told you who.  But yes, I was satisfied.  And I was at peace.

Where before I had been “ready,” now I was at peace with the situation.  And in that peace I could be patient.  God would bring it to pass in His perfect timing.  And so He has.

A couple of weeks ago, Sir K and I embarked on something we have termed an Intentional Relationship.  I’ve not been thrilled with the concept of dating as a means to get to know your potential spouse, and on the other side, courtship as defined by the ultra conservatives seemed a little restrictive, besides requiring a lot of parental involvement.  My parents have been helping me transition from child to adult, so the last thing they wanted to do was drive or limit my decision making in terms of a spouse.  So Sir K and I have been finding our own way, through lots of discussions and spending more time with each other and our families.

What point am I trying to make in all this?  I just wanted to encourage all those of you, no matter what door you’re waiting on, no matter whether you think you’re ready or not, all those of you who are contemplating entering a new phase in your life, to wait for God’s timing and His peace before moving forward.  Although I felt like I was ready, I tried very hard not to give any such indication, as I felt that could cloud the issue if my friend was either waiting for God’s okay, or deciding that this was not the direction that God wanted him to go in.  Instead, I lived in the peaceful hope that God would indeed work everything out in His own perfect way, which He has proceeded and is proceeding to do.  He makes all things beautiful in His time.

So what are you “ready” to embark on?  College, a new career, marriage, children?  Whatever door you are waiting for God to open, know that He will open it in His timing, and that it will be well worth the wait.  In retrospect, Sir K and I have each seen things God was teaching us in the last 6 months to a year.  We’ve lost nothing in waiting, and instead have been able to build our foundation of friendship that much stronger.  No matter what you’re waiting for, God will bless you for waiting on His timing.

Sir K and I are excited to see where God will take us in the coming months, we are thankful to Him for His perfect timing, and above all, we desire that He always remain the center of our relationship.

May He bless you as much as He is blessing us.

solomon’s ledger: the strongest desire

January 15, 2013

“…if we can choose something else over our strongest desires, were they truly our strongest desires, or was the “something else” our strongest desire all along?”

Read the rest here: solomon’s ledger: the strongest desire.

How to Choose a Husband

January 2, 2013

I have been truly blessed by the writings of one Phylicia over at A Quill and Inkwell, and this post brought a smile.  My thoughts are similar to Phylicia’s, and like her, it’s not often that I find someone outside the family who shares them!  Since several of my most popular posts from this year were on relationships and marriage, I wanted to share…

How to Choose a Husband.


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