My Testimony

If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll have noticed that while I don’t always make a big to-do about my faith, it certainly colors my outlook on life.  I’ll tell you right here that I don’t have a religion.  I have a relationship.

As crazy as it sounds in black and white text, I know the God who created Heaven and Earth.   Not only do I know him, we love to talk to one another.  Though I often forget and try to do things on my own, I know I can take any and all problems, joys, and needs to my Heavenly Father because I know he cares about me.  And though I sometimes do more of the talking in our relationship, he also speaks to me, even if it takes some time before I listen long enough to hear him.

It’s mind blowing to think that a God who is all knowing, all powerful, and eternal would care about someone so insignificant as me.  I mean, I’m not much in comparison, and I was even less when he first befriended me.  Still, I guess it’s his business who he associates with, and we know from the Bible account that Jesus loved people of all kinds, so it shouldn’t seem so very odd that he would like to hear about what I’m thinking and to be involved in everything I’m doing.  Actually, I think he likes to work with weak, scared, mixed-up, shy, un-talented people because then it’s obvious that “God did it.”  It’s too easy for competent people to forget that part.  If I look competent now, it’s because God is doing it through me, not because I was born that way.

I came to know Christ when I was a little girl, about 5.  I grew up in a Christian household, going to church every Sunday, but while that was a great place to start, it wasn’t enough.  I needed a personal relationship with God because there was no way that I was going to get into heaven on my parents’ account.  They knew even better than I did that I needed to do more than just piggy-back on their faith.  I needed my own.  There isn’t any getting into Heaven on your father’s coat-tails or your mother’s apron string.

As I grew older, I understood more and more about what it was to be a Christian.  When I read back through my diary (which I started when I was nine), I smile to see what a bright young Christian I was.  Some entries are chock full of praises, songs, and things I’d been learning about my friend Jesus.  Those entries were a real source of help to me several years later, when I hit a rough spot in the road.

For a couple of different reasons, my relationship with Christ became very stagnant when I was about 11 or 12.  I don’t know the exact time it started because I was well into it before I noticed.  I knew I wasn’t where I should be, but I didn’t have any urge to fix the situation.   I was standing still.

Finally, at 16 I heard a message from the pulpit which made me realize that I needed to either give up on my relationship with Jesus or move forward.  I could not stand still.

Needless to say, I did not stand still, and I did not give up.  When I looked at what my life might look like without Jesus, my heart grew as still as a graveyard.  I was frightened at the meaninglessness of a life without Christ!  I knew I needed Jesus.

From that point forward, I have been growing closer to him as fast as I can.  I have come to realize that I was something of an Ephesus Christian, someone who looked good on the outside, but didn’t really have it right on the inside.  I had begun “living like a Christian” instead of focusing on Christ himself.  When you focus on life, you get offtrack.  When you focus on the source of life, he keeps you on the path.  Remember Hebrews 11:6b:

“God . . . is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”


2 Comments on “My Testimony”

  1. Alma Mater Says:

    I enjoyed reading your testimony!

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