“I Kissed Dating Goodbye” — A Woman’s Question

I recently read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” for the first time.  Yeah, I know, you would have expected that I’d read it long ago.  Probably I would have except that I read “Best Friends For Life” as part of my last year of highschool, and Mom and I figured it covered pretty much the same ground.  While there’s a point where you need to be ready, there’s also a point where dwelling on one subject too much or too long can be unhealthy for your relationships.  So I didn’t read Josh Harris’s book then.  But I’ve read it now.

I’d recommend it, mostly because it comes from the perspective of a 21-year-old who’s right in the thick of waiting for romance himself, but who is able to articulate the reasons why he stands where he does.  Of course, knowing that Josh has gone on to marry, have three children, and pastor a church gives the book greater credence — he’s not just talking a talk, he has also walked the walk.

In the book is a poem that I especially loved, and I wanted to share it with you.  It’s by Lena Lathrop and you can find it on Josh’s website here.

A Woman’s Question

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the hand above–
A woman’s heart, and a woman’s life
And a woman’s wonderful love?

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy,
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy?

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Man-like you have questioned me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman’s soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart to be true as God’s stars,
And as pure as heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef;
I require a far better thing.
A seamstress you’re wanting for socks and shirts;
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called home,
And a man that the maker, God,
Shall look upon as he did the first
And say, “It is very good.”

I am fair and young, but the rose will fade
From my soft, young cheek one day,
Will you love me then ‘mid the falling leaves,
As you did ‘mid the bloom of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give all this, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot do this — a laundress and cook
You can hire, with little to pay,
But a woman’s heart and a woman’s life
Are not to be won that way.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Growing Up, Links to Articles, Blogs, Etc., Poetry/Writings, Reviews, Young Adulthood

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One Comment on ““I Kissed Dating Goodbye” — A Woman’s Question”


  1. […] Still, I think that this system, like the world’s dating game (as shown by Josh Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye and this article at Latitude 821), is flawed, and in some senses, yes, flat-out wrong.  We need to […]


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